From the Ashes
by Antigone2
Summary: The fire dies down, the book closes, the wounds begin to heal... but it isn't ever easy, is it?
1. Me

  
Antig's Rambling Pointless Author's Notes:  
  
I wrote this because, well, there is a period time that is skimmed over   
the manga I wanted to flesh out. ;; Being a big Yui fan, I thought to   
do something in her POV would not only be fun for me (and pretty rare   
in the FYff world... at least I hope I'm original ^^;), but would also   
close the gaps in the story and her character.  
  
I noticed somewhere in the span of time not covered by Yuu Watase-  
sensei, Yui goes from the scared, confused, weak-willed girl in part I   
to the beautiful, confident woman she is in part II. I just wondered   
what brought about such a drastic change (besides Yuu Watase's   
wonderful deus ex machina). So I decided I'd play with it.   
  
Lol. Why not, right? ::glances at her history of language text, kanji   
flashcards, and volumes of 14th century literature piled by her   
backpack:: I mean, it's not like I have anything better to do. Heh   
heh.;;  
  
Please read and review! ^^  
  
------ The actual story begins here ^_~  
  
From the Ashes  
Part 1/5 Me.  
By Antigone  
  
  
White.  
  
That was what I saw, all white, blurry shapes that slowly began to gel   
into objects before my vision.  
  
I felt dizzy and sick, and I hurt everywhere.  
  
For a second panic seized my heart, and my vision started to go black.   
I was back, back in the universe of the four gods. Waking up for the   
first time, to look at Nakago's face and have the memories of what   
happened hit me in the stomach. To make me retch, and begin to burn in   
my own private hell.   
All over again... no, god please...  
  
"Yui?" a gentle voice pulled me back to reality, and I blinked up at   
the familiar face like I had never seen her before.  
  
"Mom?" I said weakly, and she smiled, the lines on her face relaxing.   
The room behind me, white, sterile. I was in the hospital.  
  
"How do you feel, darling?" Her hand pushed sweaty bangs from my face.  
  
"What happened?" While she was explaining to me that I apparently   
passed out from exhaustion and Yuuki Keisuke brought me here, I was   
trying to get my aching head to piece together what my memory couldn't   
supply.  
  
The last thing I remembered was fire. Destruction. Seiryuu... oh god...  
  
"Miaka!" I strained against the pain in my body to sit up, and my   
mother hovered over me, hands on my shoulders, trying to push me back   
to the bed.  
  
"Yui, please just relax. It's alright-"  
  
"Miaka! Is Miaka okay?" I grabbed her sleeves and looked right up at   
her; the wild look in my eyes must have unnerved her.   
  
After all that happened, my mother who never really knew me, now would   
understand me even less.   
  
"Miaka-chan? She's fine, Yui, she's at home I think."  
  
I blinked. Didn't she call Suzaku? Wasn't that why I am here?  
  
"What about the fires? How many people are dead?" My throat hurt, my   
head... How many, like Suboshi, are dead because of me?   
  
Worried, my mother pressed a cool, manicured hand to my forehead.   
"What are you talking about, honey? Did you dream something?"  
  
Dizzy, confused, I shut my eyes against harsh reality.  
  
Did I dream? What did I dream...?  
  
I woke up again, feeling sick.  
  
"Yui-san?" I opened my eyes to Miaka's older brother and his best   
friend, Tetsuya. My mother must have left to get coffee, or went to   
work, god only knew.  
  
Keisuke smiled gently at me when I lowered my eyes from his gaze.  
  
"How are you feeling, woman of the hour?" Tetsuya asked, and I felt   
intense annoyance at the fact that his eyes were masked by those dark   
glasses.  
  
"Really crappy," I answered shortly, "how would you feel?"   
  
Far from touched that they came to see me, instead I felt on edge and   
uncomfortable. Why were they here, when they had no right to be?   
"How is Miaka?"  
  
"Alive," Keisuke told me. "Tired. She's sleeping now, but mom will   
make her go to school tomorrow anyway. She wants to see you, I'll call   
her now that you are awake."  
  
"Mm-mm," I held out a hand to stop him as he headed toward the door. Both   
boys looked at me in surprise. I could say I'm tired, that I didn't   
want Miaka to come all the way here when she's ill, I could have said many things,  
but I wouldn't have fooled them anyway.   
  
"I don't think I want to see her just yet." I avoided Tetsuya's knowing gaze,   
and Keisuke's disappointed one.  
  
"Suit yourself," Tetsuya shrugged. "This way none of her wishes will   
come true."  
  
"What do you mean," I demanded, "Suzaku granted all her wishes, right?"   
Then I paused, and painfully pulled myself into a sitting position,   
"Just what did I miss, anyway?"  
  
I got the full story from Keisuke mostly, with Tetsuya throwing in a   
few random points here and there.  
  
Miaka's last wish was for Tokyo to return to it's original condition,   
which explains my mother's confusion at my question earlier. Her   
second wish to seal Seiryuu... and because of that, Nakago was dead. The   
news hit me rather hard, considering. One hand strayed to my ear,   
cupping the earring my seishi had given me after I called Seiryuu.   
Tetsuya was about to continue his retelling of events, but Keisuke   
stopped him, giving me a few moments of silence, as I sat there   
wondering why my eyes were filling with tears.  
  
I took a deep breath, preparing myself. "Go on," I whispered.  
  
And Tamahome...Tamahome faded away right before Miaka's eyes.  
  
Just like Suzuno, who couldn't stay in the book, Keisuke said, Tamahome   
just couldn't exist in a world that wasn't his own. Left by herself on   
the sidewalk, Miaka tearfully told her brother the book wasn't evil,   
but wonderful, before she passed out into his arms. In that Miaka and   
I would always, always differ. There was nothing wonderful about the   
universe of the four gods to me.   
  
"So you see what I mean?" Tetsuya had lingered behind Keisuke to talk   
to me alone. He took off the shades, and I found myself looking in   
confusion at intense hazel eyes. "I don't believe your 'just yet'   
excuse at all. You will avoid Miaka for as long as you can, won't   
you?"   
  
His voice was kind, but I hated him for knowing me so well, when he has   
no reason to.  
  
"You don't understand!" I said, "It was true, what I said before; we   
can never go back to how we were. It's too late. I don't want to see   
her if I can't be with her! I don't want to hear her forgive me when it   
won't change a thing."  
  
"All through the universe of the four gods, all through everything," he   
tossed something on the bed in front of me, but for some reason I   
couldn't tear my eyes away from his. "All through the fevers, and   
broken bones, the betrayed trust, the loneliness, the death,   
everything, she kept going. Because she wanted two wishes: to be with   
Tamahome. And to help you." I lowered my eyes, to see cursed book   
lying on in front of me. I recoiled.  
  
"For you," Tetsuya said again, quietly. "She was always thinking about   
you."  
  
Her strangled screams echoed in my head, "Give Yui back to me! Give me   
back my best friend!!"  
  
"I know," I whispered, shutting my eyes, "I know already. Please take   
that away from me."  
  
He did as I asked, and paused by the door. "I'm sorry, Yui-san. I   
don't want to make you feel bad; you are a brave girl, but don't be   
afraid of your best friend. Not when you are all she has left.  
  
After all, her first wish, was you."  
  
I clenched my fists, glared at the door as it closed behind him because   
I knew he was right. All she wanted was to be with Tamahome, and have   
her best friend back.   
It was within my power to give her the latter, and I owed her that   
much.   
Her two wishes, real wishes, from the bottom of her heart. I   
suppose I never really knew her, what she was capable of...   
  
Then again, I guess I never really knew myself, either.  
  
TBC in part 2: Miaka   
  



	2. Miaka

Antig's Rambling Pointless Author's Notes:  
  
Hi again!  
Okay, I played with some things that Yuu Watase may have mentioned   
another way. You'll see what I mean. But, this what I always perceived happening,   
especially with the entrance exam scores.  
  
Please enjoy my small offering of a fic.   
  
And please leave reveiws! Thanks goes to to my beta Lelu (http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=directory-authorProfile&userid=68543)  
  
  
From the Ashes  
A Yui Fanfic   
Part 2/5 Miaka.  
  
By Antigone  
  
  
Facing Miaka was one of the hardest things I had to do, and after   
what I had been through, that was saying a lot.  
  
I knocked on her door that morning, dressed in my spare school uniform,   
pressed and almost new. I had wanted to scream and burn the   
brown fabric before letting it touch my skin, but soon I would be in   
high school, wear new clothes. Perhaps then I'll grow out my hair,   
really make a new start. And I want Miaka there, I know that for sure.  
  
"Yuuki-san, good morning!" I said when Miaka's mother opened the   
door, and she smiled to see me.  
  
"Why, hello, Yui! Here to walk Miaka to school? I'll see if   
she's ready."  
  
Miaka wasn't ready, but when she heard her mother say I was here,   
she dropped what she was doing (literally, I heard the crash) and flew   
into the living room in her socks, shirt untucked, and her hair still down around   
her shoulders. Her face was scratched, and bruised slightly,   
just like mine, her eyes heavy and tired.  
  
She stopped a few feet in front of me, and for a long moment just   
looked at me, expressionless.  
  
My heart pounded. Please, Miaka, please forgive me...  
  
Her lower lip trembled ever-so-slightly, and her large green   
eyes slowly began to fill with tears.   
  
"Miaka," I whispered, so softly I could hardly hear myself.  
  
She hesitated... and then, "Yui-chan!"   
  
Typical Miaka, she threw herself at me and I almost fell over,   
my book bag crashing to the floor.  
  
For a girl that should have been weak from merging with a god,   
she had amazing strength as she hugged me, her arms tightening around   
my sore body. But I didn't cringe away from her. Never again will I   
fail to return her hug. "You are okay, I'm so glad you are okay."  
  
"Hai," I murmured, putting a comforting hand on her shuddering   
shoulder. "It's okay, Miaka. It's really okay."  
  
Yuuki-san was giving us a strange look, and I smiled, my eyes   
clearing.  
  
"Mou," I said, pulling away slightly, "you'll make us late."  
  
Sniffling, she looked up at me, uncertainly.  
  
I smiled. "You always make me late, baka."  
  
And in her eyes I see it. The relief, the joy.  
  
"Yui-chan..."  
  
So, it's not everything. But this is a start. We still have a   
lot to work out and we both know it. I have a lot to get over.  
  
But she has her best friend back.  
  
And so do I.  
  
  
  
As we left, I heard her mother ask Keisuke if Miaka and I had had   
a fight or something. The poor boy choked on his coffee, and said,   
yeah, something like that. I heard Yuuki-san sigh and comment, "They   
never could stay mad at each other, could they?"  
  
  
  
It was a little strange, a little difficult, getting back into   
the schedule of our everyday lives. It was easier for me than for   
Miaka, I think, since she had made so many more emotional attachments   
in that world than I had. I had more to forget, and she had more to   
remember.  
  
The constant stress of the Exams from Hell loomed on the horizon   
and we all focused so much on them that other aspects of our lives   
could be put on hold. There was less gossip in the cafeteria, so not   
many people speculated about the ring on Miaka's finger. There was   
less flirting in the halls, so I didn't have to avoid unwanted male   
attention. There was less time for me to reflect, for Miaka to grieve.   
We didn't even see each other much, actually.  
  
She worked very hard, though, studied with a lot of focus. When   
I mentioned I was proud of her, she smiled sheepishly and admitted she   
sometimes imagined that her seishi were watching her. Watching her   
work so hard, so they'd watch her get into Jonan.   
  
When she said that, I let my eyes drift to the blue sky and wondered if my   
seishi ever watched me. If Suboshi knew Miaka was again the most important   
person to me, if Nakago knew I still wore his earring. If they knew I'd never   
forget. If they knew I wouldn't even try to.  
  
  
  
Then, in a day that went by in a second, a flash of lightening,   
the exams were over. Snow fell from the sky, lightly blanketing the   
city, even though it should be getting warmer soon. Miaka opened her   
mouth to catch the flakes, giggling. I noticed, though, that her eyes   
were wistful. I followed behind her, the calm reason to her   
flightiness.  
  
"They are over," she was saying. "Finally, all over!"  
  
"Well, we still have to find out if we got in," I pointed out.  
  
"Thanks for reminding me, Yui-chan."  
  
"Are you nervous?" I asked, and we being to walk in step.  
  
"A little," Miaka admitted, "since I want to go to the same high   
school as you."  
  
I glanced at her from the corner of my eye. She was looking   
straight ahead, her spinning the ring on her finger around and around.  
  
"I mean, it's a promise right?" She smiled at me, so cheerfully,   
and I realized I couldn't make myself smile back.  
  
And that's when it started, really started to hit me.  
  
Every memory surfaced clearly.   
  
I had little studies to drown in, and Miaka... well, after a few   
days of post-exam time with her, and I wanted to grab her thin   
shoulders and shake the genki-ness completely out of her.   
  
I wanted her to admit what she felt, to cry with me instead of   
hiding from me, to stop thinking those fake smiles were working on me.   
  
It was so obvious now, and I didn't want her to smile at me, to giggle   
like an idiot, to pretend that none of this ever happened.   
  
I was never good at pretending. But she was. Even if the pretending was   
painfully obvious.  
  
"Yui-chan?" Miaka turned to look at me as we started our walk   
home from school one day. "Are you okay? You've been quiet lately."  
  
It annoyed me that _she_ was the one to ask about _me_, when it   
should be the other way around.  
  
"Miaka, are we all right?" I met her eyes, her confused look, "really   
all right?"  
  
"What do you mean?" She smiled and reached for my hand again, and   
I pulled away.  
  
"Dammit Miaka!"  
  
She blinked.  
  
"Stop pretending!" I took a step back, back and flung out my arms to her.   
"Yell at me! Accuse me! Hit me! Something! Don't ignore what happened,   
and what I did." I lowered my voice and took her hands, "I know you   
went through some horrible things, too. We can't heal if we can't talk   
about it, Miaka. You promised you'd get mad at me, so get mad! You   
lost the man you love forever, so cry about that! Just, please, tell me   
how you really feel."   
  
I took a deep breath, hugging my arms to myself, watching her for   
her reaction.  
  
Her initial shock had faded into a quiet acceptance. Like she   
knew this was coming.  
  
"I love you Hongo Yui," Miaka began softly, "you are my best   
friend. And I never stopped loving you, not for a second. I guess it just   
really hurts to think that you stopped loving me. Even just for a little bit."  
  
I couldn't speak as she walked away, but she gave me a small   
smile before walking away.  
  
"Good luck with your exam scores, Yui-chan."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Well, I did have good luck.   
  
I had great luck, and she failed.   
  
I expected this last year, expected I would do better than her. Back   
Then, I relied on the fact I always did better.   
  
Boys liked me, teachers enjoyed having me in their class. Miaka had always been social, outgoing as she is, in fact, most of the school friends I had were made through her.   
  
I guess I found out what I was really like, without her.   
  
I counted on her admiration of me to make me feel wanted, when I   
felt I lost that, that I wasn't the most important, perfect person in   
her life, it didn't matter if she loved me. If she cared about me.   
Because, dammit, our friendship wasn't about that. It didn't work that   
way.   
  
At the time, I thought that if the little bitch didn't even come   
back for me... didn't take care of me the way everyone just wanted to   
take care of her...  
  
But I never did stop loving her.  
  
  
  
  
Eventually I told her that, when she found out she failed to get   
into Jonan and ran to my apartment at nine o'clock at night, sobbing   
her eyes out.  
  
"I failed," she had said, hiccupping in my arms as my mother   
hurried to make her some tea. "I failed and now we can't go to the same school,   
I'm so sorry Yui, I'm so sorry."  
  
I swallowed. Hard. "Miaka-"  
  
"And you'll go to Jonan and meet other people, and you'll leave   
me too, and I'll be all alone because Mom is getting married and   
Keisuke's moving away, and Tamahome left me, and I can't even pass a   
stupid exam..."  
  
"Miaka!" I took her shoulders in my hands and forced her to look   
up at me, "Miaka, it's alright." And I found myself looking into tearful   
green eyes, just like so many times before. Saw the hopeful, childlike   
way I was reflected in her eyes, faithful Yui-chan to make it all better, like I had  
throughout our childhood. Every regret I had about what I chose   
flew out the window.  
  
I took a deep breath. "I failed it, too."  
  
She gaped at me. "You?!"  
  
I laughed softly. "Yeah, looks like we'll both be going to our   
second choice. After all, I gotta take care of you, right?" I winked. "You need   
it."  
  
She smiled shakily, unsure if she should be happy that I failed,   
but undeniably relieved we'd be together in school.  
  
"Oh, and, Miaka?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I love you," I kissed her cheek, something I hadn't done since   
we were very young children, something as innocent and pure as it was   
then.  
  
"I never stopped."  
  
  
There are some things she will never know, like the crumbled   
Jonan acceptance letter in my trash can. Things she doesn't need to   
know, because she wouldn't understand. Like how I can love so much it   
twists itself into loathing and obsession. How I need to separate my   
feelings for this girl into something I can comprehend without it   
scaring me. How there is a side of myself I found that makes me   
terrified, but also powerful. A side I don't regret finding, even though I   
should. Only people just like me can understand this.  
  
And Miaka is nothing like me.  
  
  
TBC in part three: Tetsuya   
  



	3. Tetsuya

Antig's Rambling Pointless Author's Notes:  
  
Um... I like chocolate?  
  
And feedback!! Please, please, please... If you liked this, or even just   
read it and had it entertain you for a few minutes... please, please, let   
me know? ^^;;  
  
Thanks.  
  
  
From the Ashes  
A Yui Fanfic   
3/5 Tetsuya  
  
By Antigone  
  
After exams came summer break, Miaka and I found ourselves with a   
lot more free time. We both decided that was a good thing, time to   
rest and rejuvenate after the stress of exams and the months we spent   
fighting our way through the universe of the four gods.  
  
It took us about one week to realize idle time was the last thing   
we needed. Although she tried to hide it, Miaka began dwelling on   
Tamahome and the other people she left behind, becoming slightly more   
withdrawn and sad. I found myself waking up with more and more   
nightmares and no one to turn to.   
  
Plus, we were bored. After months of constant stimulus, positive or   
negative, the neutral of the real world was... mind numbingly dull.  
  
What were two damsels in distress to do?  
  
So it was Super Brother and his sidekick Sunglasses Boy to the rescue.   
Keisuke and Tetsuya took us out, invited us over, tagged along with us   
wherever we went... Keisuke with his drama and over protectiveness,   
Tetsuya with his I'm-too-cool attitude (and damn was he a cheapskate   
too)... but it was sweet of them.  
  
Maybe it's just because I hardly ever saw his eyes, but I found Tetsuya   
almost impossible to figure out. Keisuke was doing all this for his   
sister, but why was Tetsuya giving up his summer break to tag along   
with two high school girls? For Keisuke's sake? For Miaka and me?   
Maybe, even, for me?   
  
  
I used to know him as my best friend's brother's best friend, but   
slowly and surely he worked his way into my life until he became a   
constant. A rock. Although Keisuke was concerned for both of us, most   
of the hovering he did was over Miaka while Tetsuya would be the one to   
keep an eye on me. He wasn't overbearing, so I didn't get annoyed with   
him. (Whereas I think Miaka was on the verge of fratricide after the first  
week).  
  
Then, one warm Sunday afternoon, we packed a picnic and drove outside   
of the city to the shores of the bay. The sea breezes felt good, and   
our mood was happy as we sat in the park. Tetsuya and I sat on the   
grass, side by side, overlooking the water while nearby Keisuke was   
busy upbraiding Miaka for eating all the food by herself.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" Tetsuya asked, turning to look at me.  
  
At first, I was surprised. I had learned to hide my emotions so well.  
But then again, this was Tetsuya- he noticed just about every little detail about me.  
  
I drew my knees up to my chest. "My mother. She's been worried about   
me, wants me to see a shrink or something. She must have noticed the   
scars on my wrist." I lowered my head, watched my hair as the wind   
tugged it into my vision. It was growing out nicely, just like I was   
growing away from the girl I had been.  
  
"Do you think it will help?" Tetsuya asked, removing his sunglasses to   
look at me closely.  
  
I punched him lightly in the arm. "Are you nuts? What am I supposed to   
tell her--about the book? She'll have me locked up!"  
  
He leaned back on elbows and grinned at me. "Isn't there a   
confidentiality thing or something?"  
  
"Not for people who rave about a portal to another world in the   
National Library," I retorted, feeling relaxed now. I stretched out my   
legs and grinned at him. I was smiling a lot more now-more than I ever   
had before.  
  
"Well I don't find you a danger to society, Miss Seiryuu no miko," he   
was smiling back, but his eyes were serious when he continued. "I'll be   
your shrink. I'll listen to you, anytime you want, Yui."  
  
My name, so intimately spoken, made me look up in surprise. My hand   
froze while brushing blonde strands of hair behind one ear. He reached   
up to touch the few escaping tendrils and almost in a daze, afraid to   
breathe, I stared at him.  
  
I felt safe, I realized, peaceful. Even though my heart was pounding,   
I wasn't scared. Not of Tetsuya. Never of him. The realization shocked   
me.  
  
He must have misread my look, because he blushed and stood up, putting   
space between us. "I better get back before the Yuuki siblings kill   
each other."  
  
"Wait-" I was about call him back to me, to tell him that I hadn't been   
upset by his touch. Not to feel bad.   
  
"You wanna go out sometime?" His back was to me, his hands in his   
pockets. I could see his shoulders trembling a bit, and a smile   
touched my lips faintly. He was nervous.  
  
"Sometime, sure," I answered as I caught Miaka's eye, watching us from   
by the picnic table. She blushed crimson and turned away quickly.  
  
I wonder what she was thinking during the silence in the car while   
Tetsuya drove us home.  
  
  
  
Four people came on our date. Yup, that's right. I thought Miaka   
would feel better if she came along, and we couldn't invite her without   
taking Keisuke. I thought it'd be fun, but it was not one of my better   
ideas.  
  
I'm not good at avoiding mistakes, am I?  
  
Nobody was happy at the start of that night. Tetsuya was irked that I   
dragged people along, and Keisuke was moaning over the fact that he   
hadn't had a date in well, ever. Miaka was being uncharacteristically   
quiet, which had me worrying about her and unsettled the entire night.   
Our table at the pizza* place had as much tension as it did greasy   
food, and even Miaka was hardly eating.  
  
Finally I couldn't take it anymore. "Miaka, will you stop looking at   
your pepperoni like it just told you your mother died?"   
  
"My food talks?" She blinked, and slowly picked up the pepperoni in   
question between her thumb and forefinger. "What's that?" she   
pretended to listen to it. "Hey, don't say that about Yui! That's mean!"  
  
I blew my straw paper in her face.  
  
"Food fight!" Keisuke cried, flicking Miaka's wrist so the pepperoni   
flew onto Tetsuya's head.   
  
I tossed the straw from my soda at Keisuke, and Miaka aimed for a piece   
of crust to hit her brother but it hit me instead. So I threw a pepper   
at her hair. Garlic bread sailed by my ear, and hit Tetsuya, who   
retaliated with a mushroom. By then we were all dying of laughter, and   
decided to pay the check and get out of there before we were kicked   
out.   
  
"I thought college kids were supposed to be mature," Miaka told her   
brother as we ran down the street in the cool night, laughing, talking,   
and acting like normal teenagers. It was nice.  
  
"Who told you that?" I asked, arching my eyebrows, watching as Keisuke   
attempted to trip Miaka. It worked.  
  
  
I was beginning the evening hadn't been a mistake, especially when   
Tetsuya and I were alone on my doorstep, after Keisuke went home and Miaka went inside.   
He asked me not to bring the Yuukis with us on a date ever again.   
  
Then he kissed me.  
  
I had been kissed before, but it had never been pleasant. Nakago was   
controlling, manipulative, and his kiss was cold. After all, to him   
wasn't I only a means to an end? Suboshi was a child, unbalanced and   
confused, scared the hell out me when he so-suddenly 'attacked' me like   
that. And Tamahome...  
  
  
Well, if a man who was in love with your best friend is under the   
influence of a personality-warping brainwashing drugs a kiss is hardly   
romantic, now is it?  
  
  
But Tetsuya... I liked it. It was a new thing for me, to enjoy   
something purely for the sake of it, without it having a reason, or a   
meaning, or an ulterior motive. It was strange, though. He's Tetsuya,   
my friend, my 'shrink'. It felt weird to think I had just kissed him.  
  
My emotions were mixed as I closed the door behind him, but I did agree   
to go out with him again. Sans the peanut gallery we called friends.  
  
When I entered my room, Miaka was already sitting on my bed, hugging   
one of my stuffed animals (I don't have any except what Miaka has given   
me over the years. I was never into cutesy things like that, but Miaka   
never seemed to get that through her head).  
  
"Hi," I said, entering my room and sitting on the edge of my bed. Miaka   
was spending the night, just like old times.   
  
But, not quite. Nothing could be just like old times anymore. It   
could only be close.  
  
"Yui-chan?" Miaka asked quietly, her head lowered and her bangs   
covering her eyes.  
  
"Hmm?"   
  
"Could you not bring me on any of your dates anymore?" she sounded   
hesitant, unlike herself. "I mean, I appreciate the gesture, but   
having to go out as my brother's 'date' wasn't really fun." She made a   
face, halfheartedly, and trailed off.  
  
"Oh, Miaka, I'm sorry," I swallowed. "I didn't mean-- I'm sorry."  
  
"It's okay, Yui-chan, I know you didn't. Sooo.... " She was back to her   
normal self again, leaning eagerly towards me. "Did he kiss you?"  
  
"What? Mi-- you're so nosy!" But my blush gives me away.  
  
"Whooo! Yui and Tetsuya, sittin' in a tree-"  
  
"Shut up, baka!" It's good to hear her giggle, but why does it have to   
be at my expense?!  
  
"So he *did* kiss you?"  
  
"Mou..."  
  
"On the lips?"  
  
"Oi..."  
  
"Tongue?"  
  
"MIAKA!!"  
  
We fell asleep laughing, but in the middle of the night, I woke up to   
her muffled sobs. I realized that in the midst of the happiness I had   
discovered in my newfound romance, I also wanted to cry for my best   
friend.   
  
Now I know how she felt about me, all those months I thought she was my   
enemy.  
  
  
*Gawd, I am so sick of fic authors making their poor borrowed   
characters eat sushi every night. ^^; What's that about? They do have   
many pizza places in Japan (Yuu Watase characters tend to like fast   
food actually, but McDonlads isn't exactly a date place is it?) and I   
thought it might be a nice change from sushi (aka the-only-Japanese-  
food-most-American-fic-writers-can-think-of-off-the-top-of-their-head)   
^_~!  
  
  



	4. Taka

Antig's Rambling Pointless Author's Notes:  
  
  
Language notes:  
Dontcha hate when authors stick Japanese in their fics and give you   
stupid little glossaries like they think they are a high school text   
book or something?  
  
Me too.   
  
Mine's at the bottom. ^_~  
  
I crave feedback like a drug. Please feed my obsession. It's healthy,   
I swear!   
  
Thanks to Lelu and Jayhyun.  
  
Well, this part was fun to write because I'm in love with Taka. It was   
also interesting to play with describing him through Yui's eyes. She's   
growing up a lot in this fic! I'm proud of her.  
  
Feedback!! 'Kay? ^_~  
  
  
  
From the Ashes  
A Yui Fanfic  
4/5 Taka   
  
by Antigone  
  
  
Over summer break the four of us, Tetsuya, Keisuke, Miaka, and I,   
became a group- a clique that began separating Miaka and I from our   
junior high girlfriends.   
  
That didn't matter to me, I considered myself broken apart from   
'ordinary' people forever. After all, I am Seiryuu no miko. How could   
anyone who didn't know my story ever understand me? I wonder if Miaka   
felt the same say about being Suzaku no miko, as she never made an   
effort to contact our old friends, either. Although lately she was   
hardly making effort to do anything.  
  
It seemed she had aged about ten years in a month and a half. While   
Tetsuya and I would steal glances and blushes that betrayed our mutual   
attraction, she just had Keisuke who was grating her nerves. While I   
was moving on, she was closing in. I wanted to do anything, anything   
to make her happy. But what could I do? I couldn't make the impossible   
possible. I couldn't do what the gods couldn't even do.  
  
But I wanted to.   
  
I was the Seiryuu no Miko for goodness sake! I called down a god from   
heaven, and nearly destroyed the world. And yet, I still felt   
powerless. Stupid laws of heaven.   
  
If I learned one thing from being sucked through the yellowed pages of   
an ancient text and becoming one with a deity, it is that the laws of   
the world, as we know them, are apparently nothing but bull. Physics,   
nature, science, religion, space-time... it's all nothing. And until   
you've seen a huge phoenix duke it out with a swirling dragon high   
above the Tokyo city skyline, you wouldn't understand the intense lack   
of trust for any physical law one gets after such an experience.  
  
So there was always this part of us that believed one more 'rule' could   
be bent, and Tamahome would, as he promised, find his way back to his   
true love.   
  
Still, when he did, I was pretty damn surprised.   
  
I was meeting Tetsuya for lunch one day at the university cafeteria,   
when he waved me over to a table with Keisuke and a handsome boy I'd   
never seen before. The tension was palatable as I set down my tray.   
  
Keisuke had his chin in his hands, and his face was tense. Both he   
Tetsuya were intently watching the other student, who couldn't have   
been more than eighteen years old. He looked a little nervous, but   
determined. Immediately I liked him, something about the kindness in   
his eyes warmed me.  
  
He was the only one who looked up when I sat down. I smiled. "Hello,   
I'm Hongo Yui." Since neither Keisuke or my own boyfriend felt the   
need to introduce me, I'd do it myself. Independent modern woman that   
I am.  
  
"Hajimemashite. I'm Sukunami Taka." He had a sweet boyish grin, but   
there was something coiled behind his hazel eyes. Like some secret, or   
some fear. Taken aback, I shook my head slightly, and it was gone. I   
was facing a normal college student again.   
  
I smiled back and extended my hand, "Haji-"   
  
Tetsuya cut me off, grimly. "You've both met before," he said shortly.   
  
At my questioning look, he waved his hand to Keisuke who said, "Yui,   
you remember Suzaku no seishi Tamahome."  
  
I stood up so fast my chair fell back behind me, and I stumbled to back   
away. Taka looked surprised, and worried as he glanced between Keisuke   
and me. Tetsuya rushed to my side, as if to protect me.  
  
Protect me? From what? My memories? Myself?  
  
Good luck.  
  
Apparently, I never thought, really thought about seeing Tamahome   
again.   
  
"What you did," he had said to me, "was unforgivable..."   
  
They still echoed in my head, looking for a release. Those words   
pierced straight through my heart. Miaka had never, ever looked at me   
with coldness; always that shining hope and soft pleading that I had   
used to scorn.  
  
But Tamahome, his blue eyes glinted with an edge of anger towards me   
that had cut me open every time I had dared to look at him after that   
fateful night had left me to return to Miaka.   
  
Miaka and I had been like sisters since we were children, but he had barely met me when he   
realized I was her enemy. Unlike his miko, he had no cause to even want to forgive me.  
To him I was a threat to his kingdom and the girl he loved. I had no idea that he   
lost his family, no idea that the Suzaku sei were so close that he felt   
their deaths like his own.   
  
I had no idea the hell I put him through, all because I decided I loved   
him. Or decided I loved Miaka, so much I burned with the thought of   
her together with him. Whichever excuse you want to chose, I have  
already driven myself crazy, wondering just what the hell I was   
thinking.  
  
But, deep in my heart, I sealed away the rejection, the attraction, the   
anger, the jealousy, and the shame of not being forgiven. My feelings   
for Tamahome were a bowl of fishhooks I figured I'd never have to shift   
through again. After all, I'd never have to see him again, right?  
  
Although much of a part of me believed that he would  
come back for Miaka, a much bigger part believed as it wanted. That he,   
and my confused, messed-up feelings for him, had disappeared  
with the closing of the book.  
  
And I was happy about that. I'm so selfish, even now.  
  
"Yui, are you okay?" Tetsuya was saying, and I became aware, slowly, of   
three pairs of eyes boring into me. Awaiting my reaction.  
  
I sighed, shakily, and gave them a reassuring smile. Keisuke looked   
concerned; Taka uneasy and surprised. And just like when he first   
visited me in the hospital, Tetsuya's face was a blank to me. I felt   
uneasy and alone while I forced myself to calm down.   
  
"Sorry," I said, shaking my head. "It's just a shock."  
  
Keisuke nodded. "This is huge, isn't it?"   
  
I bobbed my head slightly in agreement, joining him and Tetsuya in   
staring at Taka like he was an exhibit behind glass.   
  
"You're sure?" I asked them, clenching my fists under the table to keep   
my hands from shaking too much. I could at least try to pretend to be   
the picture of cool while my insides were twisted into knots.   
  
Tetsuya glanced at me, and I felt sick to my stomach. What was he   
thinking? Would this pull us apart... with this constant reminder of my   
former obsession, would he even want to be with me anymore? I met his   
gaze through the amber of his sunglasses, my eyes pleading with his.  
  
'I can't do this alone,' I thought desperately. And then I felt his   
hand close around mine. I let out a breath I didn't know I had been   
holding. 'Thank you.' He squeezed my hand slightly and let go. I   
understood his message.  
  
My inner turmoil could wait. Right now, more important matters weighed   
on us. Like Taka, who was looking at me, at everyone there actually, like a   
deer caught in headlights.   
  
"We are positive," Tetsuya said, answering for Keisuke. "Keisuke  
wanted to make pretty damn sure before he let this guy at his sister."  
  
"Hey!" Taka protested, but his voice was quickly drowned out by the   
schoolgirl-like squealing of the two upperclassmen.  
  
"Oh my god, she'll be thrilled!"   
  
"Yeah! I was thinking after school tomorrow, I'd bring him around."  
  
"Ooh good idea!" Tetsuya added, happily.   
  
Those blockheads and their thing for drama.  
  
"After school tomorrow?" Taka sounded dismayed, and I looked at him   
sympathetically. "But you already made me wait so long..." He sighed   
when he realized no one was listening to him.  
  
"Sorry about them," I said. The poor guy, did he have any idea what he   
was getting into? Although, if he was anything like Tamahome, he   
wouldn't care as long as he was with Miaka.  
  
I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. "Tama...er, gomen." I   
blushed and ran a hand through my long blonde hair. "I keep wanting to   
call you Tamahome, but I guess you'd prefer Taka?"  
  
I was so nervous, addressing him. What do you say to someone who used   
to be a mortal enemy, unrequited love and, not to mention, fictional   
character?  
  
He _did_ look like him. How could I have missed it? Modern clothes,   
hair style and way of speaking, yes. But it was the same eyes, same   
smile, even the same voice. My poor heart was pounding with fear for   
me, happiness for Miaka.   
  
Taka blinked in surprise at my question. "Yeah, my name is Taka after all so... if it's   
not too much trouble, please call me that."  
  
It would take Miaka months to call him Taka, because he would never   
correct her. Anyone else who made the mistake, yes, but never ever   
her. He was what Miaka wanted him to be, until he realized she only   
wanted him. But I digress, again.  
  
"And you are," he continued, "Yui?" Something about the way he said  
my name...  
  
My eyes met his and I was the first to know.   
  
The first to share his secret. When he met me, he said 'Hajimemashite'.   
Sukunami Taka had no idea who I was.  
  
"Just how much do you remember?" I whispered. Keisuke and Tetsuya were   
still too distracted in their plans to pay much attention to Taka and   
my conversation.  
  
He cringed slightly and looked at me as though foggy memories were   
slowly rising to surface, only to burn away under my gaze like mist   
under the sun.  
  
"I remember _her_," he told me finally. I noticed then that he was   
wearing the ring that matches Miaka's. Apparently, he saw her, once   
on campus with Keisuke, and it all came back. Emotions without   
memories, desire without foundation, intense and confusing. A few   
dreams and vague reminiscences later and he was hunting down Keisuke   
with a request.   
  
Taka hadn't wanted an explanation, he hadn't wanted a  
background. He wanted Miaka. He had the ring and knew just enough that   
Keisuke was beside himself with excitement and quickly brought Taka   
over to meet Tetsuya, who was slightly more skeptical. But he won   
them over, he won me over.   
  
And under a shower of cherry blossoms and a flood of tears, he won   
Miaka over. All it took was one look and one soft murmur.  
Holding up his hand to show her the ring, he said, "Finally, finally   
I've found you."  
  
Miaka gaped in shock, then joy, covering her mouth with her hand. The   
rings both sparkled in the sunlight.   
  
Keisuke smiled at me smugly and I glared up at him. His buildup was   
just cruel, if you ask me. All day, I had watched Miaka's hollow   
smiles and downcast looks, dying to say something to her-but Keisuke   
just had to wait until the right moment and say just the right words to   
lead into the reunion.  
  
But it was a nice effect, the pink of the blossoms, the soft afternoon   
glow of the sun.  
  
It took Miaka so long to move that I hesitantly stepped up to her,   
raising a hand to place it on her shoulder. "Mi-" I was going to tell   
her it was okay, going to gently prod her to go up to him. But my hand   
barely brushed the soft fabric of her uniform when she jolted into   
life, running to him and leaving me standing there.  
  
"Tamahome!" She ran into his arms, tears running freely down her face.   
Taka wrapped his arms around her, hugged her to him like he had done it   
a million times before. Like it wasn't the very first time he ever met   
her.  
  
My fingers curled slightly as I lowered my hand. Swallowed the   
comforting words that Miaka didn't need from me anymore. I waited for   
abandonment and rejection and jealousy to slam into my gut, but I only   
felt a deep nostalgia bring tears to my eyes.  
  
"Yokatta, Miaka-chan," I murmured softly, ignoring the burning in the   
back of my throat as I watched my childhood friend.  
  
At least, everything was coming full circle. Isn't that how all good   
stories end?  
  
"Maybe everything has finally worked out," I told Keisuke, and we   
shared a geniune smile. Everything since that day Miaka and I opened   
the dusty book in the dark room at the national library... maybe, even,   
everything since we were born, since we met, everything leading up to   
our calling the gods... 'Now', I thought, 'it's all over'.  
  
Of course, I was wrong again.  
  
I'm good at that.  
  
~~  
  
TBC in part 5/5: Me, again  
  
You know you wanna give me: feedback!  
  
Glossary (as I understand it, being in Japanese 201 but far from native   
speaker):  
  
Yokatta: lit. 'it was good', can be used for relief (thank god!), or   
something like 'good for you' or 'I'm happy for you', which is the   
context here.  
  
Hajimemashite: It's only used when you first meet someone. 'Hajimeru'   
means 'to begin'. It's like 'nice to meet you' but with a stricter   
usage, since you can 'meet' with someone more than once, but not for   
the first time.  
~~  
  



	5. Me, Again

  
Antig's Rambling Pointless Author's Notes:  
  
Sorry for my absence, I have just survived the Week from HELL ending   
with Ani-Magic in Lancaster (nice way to end a HELL week ^^). Anyone   
there? There was a great FY cosplay group. I was happy.  
  
A---anyway, here is the last and final part of From the Ashes. I   
submit it for your approval, I hope you enjoy it. And now that you've   
read the entire thing, write me and tell what you think of the story as   
a whole, okay? ^^ Or leave a review. Or IM me! Or anything. ? I'm   
happy for any kind of contact.  
  
Thanks to Lelu!!  
  
From the Ashes  
A Yui fanfic  
By Antigone  
5/5 Me, again   
  
  
Peace.   
  
Happiness.   
  
Normalcy.  
  
Not for us.  
  
Because no matter how much I want my biggest to worry to be that   
someone will find out that I burned the cookies I had made for Tetsuya,   
it will never work out that way.  
  
There is something new, something dangerous, happening in both the   
Universe of the Four Gods and in our world. And of course, Miaka and   
Taka have to be right in the middle of it.   
  
At least this time I'm on their side. With all the power I have as   
Seiryuu no Miko I will help them. Actually, never mind Seiryuu, I am   
Hongo Yui, no one, god or human, will touch my best friend, the people   
she loves, or my world.  
  
I find myself exhilarated in the whirlwind of what is going on. I'm   
worried sick about Miaka, but I also have faith in her. There is   
nothing she won't be able to defeat. And I'm helping her in every way   
I can. Researching, providing memories, even giving her a weapon to   
defend herself against the zombie-like students at our highschool; I'm   
doing my part.  
  
And Taka… well, my first impression wasn't wrong. I like him, although   
he has his moments of being, well, male and stupid. And I realized as   
that soon as Taka began to look increasingly uncomfortable with every   
reference Miaka made of which he had no recollection of, that I wanted   
him to remember his past life.  
  
I want him to remember his past for his own peace of mind. I want him   
to remember for Miaka, and all that they shared.   
  
And I want him to remember for me.  
  
Because only after he remembers, can he truly forgive me.  
  
But, even that doesn't weigh so heavily on me anymore.   
  
I've forgiven myself, but I haven't forgotten. The blue earring still   
hangs in my ear, but Miaka's voice rings in it. The thought of Suboshi   
and Tamahome brings tears to my eyes, but Tetsuya is there to dry them.   
Even the scars on my wrist are fading away with each passing day. But   
they will never go completely away. And I'm alright with that.   
  
I don't mind my memories. And I will fight for the future so I can   
make more.   
  
With Miaka.   
And whoever else I may decide to love forever.   
  
  
Owari!  
  
A.N.  
Phew.   
  
That was fun.   
  
Feedback!! Feedback kaitekudasaimasenka?  



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